broken.

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i wanted so badly to make you feel whole. 

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i wanted to put all the broken bits and pieces back together. as if the world had never touched you. 

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but then, i realized.

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some people like being broken.

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but some people want to be saved.

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you just have to learn the difference.

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fall tunes.

It's november. i dyed my hair red and these are some tunes i'm listening to this fall. 

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greg laswell - high and low 

andrew belle - you 

the japanese house - face like thunder

joy williams - we can never go back 

ed sheeran - one 

niall horan - this town 

imogen heap - you know where to find me 

the fray - sing low 

the 1975 - fallingforyou

i decided.

i decided to keep fighting // that i had a little more left to give //

i decided i couldn't let go // i decided that's okay // for now 

hearts do break // time does heal // forgiveness is possible // trust can be restored

love is hard // love is real // 

but the fact that we survive off of the love of others, was reason enough to try and love again //

2am sky.

I like to believe that one day i'll wake up, and everything will be okay. 

That all those haunted dreams in my head will become reality and fantasy bites the dust.

That somewhere between here and there, all the star dust in the 2am sky will fall into place. 

That you and i will find the place where humans don't tear at each others limbs, and words don't burn like bullet holes.  

Currently- August

Currently: 

listening-  aurora (i went to far) and chvrches (clearest blue)

eating- thai food. omg guys, where has it been my whole life?
 

watching- pretty little lairs. nothing new here.
 

missing- my best friend. 
 

drinking- iced ginger peach tea.

loving- my new teddy bear from build-a-bear. (yes, i'm an adult. why do you ask?) 

wearing- new high heel shoes from forever 21. hella fine.

 
reading- nothing. no time. life is sad sometimes.  

dreaming- i wanna travel the world. touch, breath, and feel everything. 

I am.

I am mint blue

I am the the smell of lilacs

I am the leaves of fall

I am caramel white mocha's

I am my favorite song

I am the way i cry

I am the way i laugh

I am a yellow volkswagen bug

I am the moon and stars

I am my childhood favorite cat

I am a crisp fall morning

I am first kisses and heartbreak

I am the golden scottish highlands

I am the songs written upon my notepad

I am the things I've lost and the things to come

I am christmas morning

I am 1996

I am a daughter of God

I am snow flacks on pine needles

I am the wild sea

I am me. I am Hannah.

I won't list the things i am not. Because, they don't matter.

hurricane.

you and i.

a hurricane.

we thought we could dance in the storm without getting hurt.

but
that's impossible you see.

because we will never reach the eye of the storm.

we weren't meant to be.

so the wind and waves will steal us away.

one day we will get out.  

but 
not together.

you, somewhere between lies and dreams. 
me, somewhere I used to dream of.

it’s okay though.

at least we didn’t drown. 

SCREAMING

IM SCREAMING. 

afterdawnnoisetrade

scribbles.

is this what makes us human?

to feel everything. 

but yet,
 nothing at all.

i promise.

you are worth waiting for.

you are worth every fallen tear.

you are worth saying no.

you are worth it.

i promise.

sometimes.

people shatter people.

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/

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/

you shatter.

/

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/

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you are left with pieces.

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/

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/

sometimes you can put them back together.

/

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/

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sometimes you can’t.

a ghost.

i told myself i'd soon forget. that what they say is true. 

that time heals all wounds. that this would fade. 

as if it never happened. erased from my mind.

but, tell me why do i still feel it.

why does my mind still run wild with these memories?

i guess the other day i realized.

you never really forget.

the pain will dim and the thoughts will become few and far between. 

but they will still remain. they are apart of your being now. they are you. 

it'll stay with you forever. like a ghost.

making you who you are and who you are going to be.

but you’ll learn to live with it or try to.

i hope you try,

maybe, just maybe.

someday you’ll even learn to smile at the ghosts within.