last night.

we sobbed through the whole opening credits of little women. 

maybe

 it was the fact that you are leaving in 3 days 

or 

perhaps,

 it's was the way that somehow between the melody, bits and pieces or our childhood came to life,

as if 

suddenly we were little kids again, hiding in our attic to watch our favorite movie. cuddled up with layers of blankets and love. 

ha, maybe it was just the overdoes of caffeine from starbucks.

i guess it could have been many things.

but, 

i felt love and loss

but,

 us little women will be together again 

and 

you'll be home for Christmas. 

laugh.

round we go.

laughing all the way. 

we laugh like we're trying to hide. 

to hide within the smile that never quite reaches your eyes. 

you laugh to forget who you've become and who you've lost along the way.

and me.

well,

i laugh because i forgot how to cry.