SCREAMING

IM SCREAMING. 

afterdawnnoisetrade

scribbles.

is this what makes us human?

to feel everything. 

but yet,
 nothing at all.

i promise.

you are worth waiting for.

you are worth every fallen tear.

you are worth saying no.

you are worth it.

i promise.

sometimes.

people shatter people.

\

/

\

/

you shatter.

/

\

/

\

you are left with pieces.

\

/

\

/

sometimes you can put them back together.

/

\

/

\

sometimes you can’t.

a ghost.

i told myself i'd soon forget. that what they say is true. 

that time heals all wounds. that this would fade. 

as if it never happened. erased from my mind.

but, tell me why do i still feel it.

why does my mind still run wild with these memories?

i guess the other day i realized.

you never really forget.

the pain will dim and the thoughts will become few and far between. 

but they will still remain. they are apart of your being now. they are you. 

it'll stay with you forever. like a ghost.

making you who you are and who you are going to be.

but you’ll learn to live with it or try to.

i hope you try,

maybe, just maybe.

someday you’ll even learn to smile at the ghosts within.

i hope.

 i hope you are happy.

i hope you find what you were always searching for.

i hope you find you.

i hope you find out why you are so drawn to heartbreak.

why it is so easy for you to throw yourself off a cliff.
but yet so hard to keep within.

i hope you can look yourself in the eyes through the looking glass and smile.

that you learned to live with your demons. 

i hope you did it.
 i hope you did all those things that haunted your mind.

i hope you found out why you have a gypsy soul.
why you crave the sea and the pavement lights. 

i hope you find peace.

i hope you learned to stay. to let go. to lose. to be. to love.

i hope you loved with all your being. with your heart, soul, body and mind.

with such a recklessness that it scares even yourself.

i hope you find it.
 not so much a thing, place or even a person.

but a feeling.

a feeling of living.

i hope you lived.

//dear me.

last night.

 into the rain i ran. 

it didn't matter how wet i got

or

how much of my makeup rolled off my face

or

that tears and rain danced like a waltz together on my face.

it didn't matter.

i chose to run.

to dance.

to be.

in the rain.